A Day in the Life of SG1
by ZebbieCullen
Summary: A typical day through the eyes of SG1. SamDaniel for a change. Chapter Two: O'Neill.
1. Carter

_A/N: I own nothing and all mistakes are mine. Enjoy, and please review._

_Paring: Sam/Daniel_

**Five o'clock – **Wake up and slam my fist against the alarm clock trying to find the snooze button.

**One minute past five –** Wince at the sunlight sinning through the blinds.

"Stupid summer mornings," I say.

I curl up next to Daniel, wrapping my arms around his waist. He looks so cute when he's asleep. His hair is all messy and sticking up in weird places. We've been dating for six months now.

"Time to wake up, Daniel."

**Five past five –** He groans as I get out of bed, leaving him alone.

**Six past five – **Trip over cat.

"Meow!"

"Sorry, Jack."

Yes, I named him after Col O'Neill, is that so wrong?

**Seven past five –** Get dressed into jogging clothes.

**Ten past five –** Go for a run around the block saying hi to the neighbours as I go by.

Mr and Mrs Smith are sitting on their front lawn planting flowers. They're almost eighty years old. How many eighty year olds get up at five in the morning to plant tulips?

**Five forty-five –** Arrive back home.

**Five forty-six –** Fumble around for my keys and curse when I find out the door is jammed again.

**Five forty-eight –** Have a shower with Daniel.

But of course the hot water is not working so we both jump at the cold and bang heads.

I'm so not a morning person.

**Five fifty-five –** Get dressed into uniform.

**Six o'clock –** Drive to work.

**Ten past six –** Arrive at the SGC only to find that someone had parked in my spot.

**Quarter past six –** Go to the commissary for breakfast. Or what the commissary likes to call breakfast.

"Hey, sir," I say as I sit down opposite Col O'Neill who is eating his morning bowl of fruit loops.

"Morning, Carter," he smiles. "Morning Danny boy."

"Hi Jack," says Daniel, as he sips at his coffee.

I picked at my plate of 'eggs' and 'bacon' as I listen to the Colonel and Daniel's discussion on why cheese smells.

Men are very strange.

**Seven o'clock –** De-brief with General Hammond about the artefacts we found on PX3-529. We believe that they were once used as a means of healing injuries. However, Col O'Neill insists that they are paperweights.

Teal'c contributes his knowledge of healing devices and we agree to pass them onto Janet.

**Eight o'clock –** In the lab with Bill Lee and Rodney McKay. The guy is such an ass! McKay, not Bill.

A man of his (supposed) intelligence should be able to tell when a woman is not interested. However, he thinks I'm playing hard to get. I hear he's allergic to lemons…

**Eleven o'clock** – Training in the gym with Teal'c. 

Apparently they don't believe in going gentle on woman on his home planet. Which is good, I'm all for sexual equality but the guy knows how to pack a punch.

Maybe I'll take a vacation to PXW-M0N, the planet where women are the superior sex.

I dodge a blow to the stomach from my Jaffa friend and – ouch! – take one to the back instead.

**Half past twelve –** Go to the infirmary for a coffee break with Janet and some aspirin.

"Thanks," she says as she takes a cup from the tray.

"How's it coming with those artefacts?" I ask.

She sighs. "Slowly. We think some of them are medical tools that prevent scaring. We need to test them though."

I smile. "Well, SG-1 is going off-world tomorrow. You'll probably be able to practise on one of us when we return."

She laughs and looks at her watch. "Sam, could you do me a huge favour?"

I shrug. "Sure."

"Could you pick up Cassie from school? I would, but I really want to work on the devices."

"Of course, it's been ages since I last saw her."

"Thanks, you have a spare key to my house right?"

I nod.

"Great. Just drop her off there and give her the 'don't open the door to strangers' speech."

"I will," I say, turning around and heading out of the infirmary.

"Thanks!" I hear her call.

**One o'clock –** Go to Daniel's office.

I mean to ask him if he has sent Col O'Neill (not that he'd read it anyway) the memo about the mission tomorrow, but somehow we end up making out on his desk.

"I have to go. I have work to do," I say as I lean in for another kiss.

"You want to go out to dinner tonight?" he asks. "We could die off-world tomorrow, this could be the last night we spent together."

How many times have I heard that excuse? Then again, how can I so no to that adorable pout? "Sure."

"I'll pick you up at your place at around seven?"

"See you then," I say as I head back to my lab.

**One thirty-one –** Give Siler a weird look as he attempts to fix something with his wrench and duct tape (I don't even want to know).

**One thirty-three –** Hear Dr Lee and Dr McKay yelling at each other so decided to take a detour back to the labs.

**One forty –** The yelling has subsided so I get to work analysing the data from previously ran tests.

The results are fascinating and totally unexpected. We re-run them to make sure it's not a fluke.

I look up from my computer screen and see McKay quickly look away. He was so checking me out. Again.

**Ten past four –** Curse when I realise I was meant to pick up Cassie ten minutes ago.

I grab my laptop and key card to exit the SGC.

**Half past four –** Meet Cassie by the school gates.

She smiles and gets in the passenger's seat. "Before you start apologising for being late, I forgive you," she says.

I smile back. "I completely lost track of time."

"It's cool. Are you going to drop me off home?"

I nod. "Sorry, I have to get back to work. Got a date with Daniel tonight."

She raises her eyebrows. "Oh really?"

"Yeah, he's taking me to dinner."

"Have fun."

"Thanks, I will," I say, as we come to her house. "Janet wants me to give you the 'don't open the door to strangers' speech before I drive off."

She rolls her eyes. "I know. Don't answer the door or phone. Don't go out anywhere and no parties."

I nod. "Very good. I'll see you later, we need to catch up."

I wait until she opens the door before I go back to Stargate Command.

**Quarter past eight –** Getting ready for my date.

Do I wear the black pants or the blue?

**Eight seventeen –** Definitely the black.

**Half past eight –** I hear a car pull up outside. Daniel knocks on the door and kisses me hello. He looks good in a shirt with the top button undone.

He entwines our fingers and walks me to the car. Being a gentleman he opens the door for me before getting in himself. He's a great boy friend.

I smile. I really do have the best life.


	2. O'Neill

_A/N: I got bored, so I wrote another chapter. Spoilers for McKay and Mrs Miller. Enjoy, and please review._

_Chapter Two: O'Neill_

**Five o'clock –** Hear annoying ringing in ears. I open my eyes and realise it's not a brain tumour, it's the alarm clock.

**One minute past five –** Throw the clock across the room, satisfied when I hear it smash and go back to sleep.

**Five forty-five –** Wake up again and curse when I see the time on the clock on the floor. I'm late. Again. Hammond of the Shinny Forehead is going to kill me. Especially if he ever finds out I call him that.

**Five forty-five and a half –** Fall out of bed.

"Ow! That's gonna leave a bruise."

I'm still recovering from SG-1's last mission. I got shot and Dr Fraiser got to test her knew anti-scaring medical devices. I'm her human guinea pig.

**Five forty-six –** Scratch my butt.

**Five forty-eight –** I have a shower and brush my teeth at the same time, gagging when I accidentally put shampoo on the brush.

I slip on the soap I dropped the other night, nearly giving myself a serious head injury. Not that anyone would notice the difference.

**Five fifty-five –** Get dressed into uniform.

I groan loudly as I look in the mirror and see that my shirt is on back to front.

No time to comb my hair, so I dash out the door.

**Five fifty-six –** "Shit! Forgot my keys."

**Twenty past six –** End up hitching a ride Walter.

I haven't figured out how I'm going to get back into my house yet, but I'll worry about that later.

"So, how are you today, sir?" asks Walter, not taking his eyes off the road.

"I'm good. You?"

"I'm good to."

"That's good."

He's obviously in a bad mood with me (join the club). His shift doesn't start until eight.

**Twenty to seven –** Arrive at Stargate Command.

"Thanks, Walter," I say, getting out of the car. "I owe you one."

"Forget about it, sir."

He's probably thinking, "You _will_ forget it because you have the memory and attention span of a brain damaged goldfish. I however, will not forget it. You will be sorry."

Good old Walter.

**Quarter to seven – **Imeet Sam, Danny and T for breakfast.

I sigh when I see that there are only sugar free fruit loops. Carter's doing, I'm sure.

"Hey guys," I say as I sit down with them.

"Hey," they mumble.

"Why are you so late?" asks Daniel.

Might as well tell them the truth. "I…forgot to set my alarm," OK, so maybe I won't.

**Five past seven –** Check up with Doc Fraiser.

Did I happen to mention where on my body I was shot?

In the ass.

On the bright side, no scar.

Seven thirty – Now that I'm done mooning Janet, I go to my office to send threatening e-mails to Dr McKay. I hear he's been harassing Carter again. 

_Hey McKay, you should probably know that I spiked all the Jell-O with lemon juice at breakfast._

I put a little smiley face at the end and click send.

Seven thirty-five – I get a message from the infirmary telling me that McKay is thoroughly freaked out. They also ask me if I would please play nicely with the geeks. 

I get up and go over to the filing cabinet to dig out the guy's file.

**Seven thirty-six –** Gasp in shock and then laugh my ass of (even though it is kind of painful) when I discover McKay's true identity.

His real name is _Meredith!_

Meredith is a girl's name. Apparently his middle name is Rodney. I wonder what would happen if Carter ever found out.

**Seven fifty –** Sent McKay another message.

_Hi Meredith!_

I don't bother to wait for a reply.

**Eight o'clock –** Leave my office and head down to General Hammond's office for a meeting about the off-world teams.

I pass Daniel making out with Carter in the corridor.

"Looks like our little Danny is all grown up," I whispered to him as I walked by.

I'm happy for the two of them. They make a good couple. Sure, I had a crush on Carter a few years back, but it never would have worked between us. I'm glad she has found someone who makes her happy.

Although the constant kissing does gross me out sometimes. I even caught Daniel with his hand trailing up the back of her shirt a while ago.

I knock on Hammond's door and wait to be let in.

**Nine fifteen –** I finally leave the General's office.

We had to jiggle the members of some of the teams around due to promotions, relocations, family and deaths.

"Hey, Teal'c," I say as he approaches.

He gives a Teal'c-like bow. "Good morning, O'Neill."

"Where are you headed?"

"Sargent Siler has requested my assistance in repairing the pipe system. Do you wish to accompany me?"

I shake my head. "No thanks, T."

With Siler's accident-prone nature I'll probably end up with a concussion before I'm able to turn around.

He bows again and continues walking.

I look at my watch and mumble to myself, "Hmm, time for that meal between breakfast and brunch."

**Ten o'clock –** Go back to my office and switch on my computer.

Oh look, I got a message from McKay.

_W-what are you t-talking about?_

Who stutters when they write?

**Five past ten –** Get a start on the stack of paperwork from last month.

**Ten past ten –** Give up on the paperwork and start to fold paper aeroplanes instead.

**Ten twenty-one –** The alarm blares through the SGC.

I dash out of my spinning chair – which was spinning quite fast – and wait to get my balance before running to the control room.

"What we got?" I ask.

"Unscheduled off-world activation," says Carter.

I mentally go through the list of teams currently off-world.

"Receiving Col Dixon's IDC," says Walter, pressing buttons on the computer.

"Lower the iris," commands General Hammond.

I stare in shock as Dixon, Bosworth, Balinsky and Wells all stumble through the gate in their underwear.

That's not why I'm staring though. I'm staring because they are all bright purple! Well, everyone but Balinsky, who is orange.

Of course I'm the first to laugh. Everyone else, even Hammond, soon joins in with me.

SG-13 all look at us, waiting for our laughter to subside.

"What in the name of the Goa'uld happened to you?" asks the General.

Dixon blushes and says, "Err, there was a misunderstanding."

"Report to the infirmary men. We'll de-brief in an hour."

The four of them salute before leaving the gate room, blushing.

**Twelve o'clock –** Have lunch with Carter.

I spoke to Janet a few minutes ago. The stuff that was used to dye SG-13's skin is semi-permanent, so they'll have to go around being purple and orange until it washes off. However, their skin is turning red from all the scrubbing they did in the shower trying to get it off.

Carter gives me a weird look. "Did you do something to McKay?"

I put on my best innocent face. "No. Why?"

"Because he hasn't hit on me all day."

"Maybe he's scared you'll set Teal'c on him," I smile and lean forward, taking a bite of my sandwich.

Two o'clock – Find myself becoming bored, so I go to annoy Daniel in his office. 

I knock on the door and wait a few moments. Carter come outs looking a bit flushed and I shudder involuntarily at the thought of what they were doing.

"Hey, space monkey," I say, sitting in a chair.

He looks up from his work. "I thought I asked you not to call me that."

I shrug as if to say 'and?'

"You find any interesting rocks lately?" I ask, picking up an item from the shelf.

"Jack, that is a priceless artefact, I really wish you wouldn't call it a rock."

I settle it down and watch him stare at his laptop for a couple of seconds. "Your boring," I say, getting up to leave.

**Half past two –** Start thinking about cheese.

**Half past three –** Think back to this morning.

How am I going to get back into my house without a key?

**Six o'clock –** Get off my injured ass and head to the control room to find Walter.

"Colonel?" he asks.

"Grab your keys, it's time to go home."

He looks surprised. "But it's only six!"

"Fraiser still has me on light duty," I explain. "Do I have to make it an order?"

"No sir," he mumbles, getting up out of his chair.

**Six twenty-five –** Thank Walter and get out his car (which smells of burgers and fries).

I smile to myself and look around for a large stick. I pick one up off the ground and pull out a magnet and some of Siler's duct tape from my pocket. I attach the magnet to the end of the branch and stick it through the cat flap I installed in case any furry friends need a place to crash.

I feel the stick getting heavy and pull it away. My keys are hanging from the end of the magnet. I smile again and open the door.

Seven o'clock – I order a pizza. 

**Seven twenty –** I eat a pizza.

**Five to eight – **I flick through TV channels before deciding that there is nothing on.

**Eleven o'clock –** Strip off clothes and collapse onto my bed.

Repeat daily routine until I die off-world or I die naturally. Whichever come first.

* * *

TBC? 


End file.
